Over the next few days I’m going to write about my goals for 2011. This is primarily for myself – a way to process and think through who and what I want to be when we’re ringing in 2012. Feel free to read. Feel free to comment. Feel free to move along to something else.
I know most parents struggle with consistency, and I’m no exception. I’ll say, “Boys, we’re going to do X at Y:30, okay?” Y:30 comes and X never happens. 99% of the time it’s because I was busy doing my stuff – reading, cleaning, cooking, folding laundry, etc. It’s not fair to the boys to tell them something’s going to happen only to let them down. More than that, it’s not fair for the boys to have a dad with such little integrity. Jesus says “Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ I think the boys want the same thing.
One area I’ve begun to practice consistency is in eliminating a certain word from my parenting vocabulary. “HURRY” is now a four-letter word. I resist saying it at all cost. The greatest usage of the word typically came in the mornings getting everyone ready for school. That’s where I’ve honed my conscious energy to eliminate not just the word, but the spirit of Hurry. I’ve already discovered I am a much more relaxed dad. If I can’t rush the boys, I have to make sure everything’s ready at its proper time – lunches packed, teeth brushed, clothes mostly on, shoes kinda tied, hair somewhat combed. Being consistent in my morning routine has proven to reduce the need to raise my eyebrows, flare my nostrils, and huff, “HUUUrry!” The boys seem much more relaxed too. They laugh more. They talk about more things. They play better. Win-win.
I also need to be more consistent with our evening routine. We tell the boys they’re supposed to brush their teeth every night, but we rarely enforce it. No longer! (What is it about brushing your kids’ teeth that feels so laborious?) Now we brush teeth nightly, sleep in pajamas (rather than whatever was worn that day), and practice a proper tuck-in ritual complete with songs, prayers, and stuffed animals. After only a few days of this the boys aren’t climbing out of bed as often, they’re sleeping better, and they’re in better moods when they wake up, thus making mornings more pleasant. The dramatic effect of such small acts is stunning.
I also avoid anything that hints at messiness. The boys regularly ask to help make PB&J sandwiches (which we eat a lot – like more than a normal family should). But jelly is sticky and, despite the tiny jar of strawberry preserves, I envision the jam smeared across the walls, covering counters and crusting into shirts. The thought is overwhelming, so I just do everything myself. However, a few days ago we made homemade pizzas for lunch. We spread flour on the island, mashed our dough with a rolling pin, spooned tomato sauce out of the jar, spread the cheese, perfectly placed the pepperoni, and destroyed it when we moved it to the cooking sheet (lesson learned: prepare your pizza on the cookie sheet to avoid a really, really big mess). They loved cooking it and ate it like Papa John made it himself. This year, I gotta loosen up when it comes to being messy with the boys. We have cleaning products for a reason, right?
Hopefully 2011 will be a growing year for me, which will make the year a little better for all the folks around me.
